Overwhelmed

When I got pregnant I was in disbelief, when we went to the doctor that first time I was excited, I was calmly confident through my pregnancy, and so grateful when the bug arrived and was healthy. Then it was time to take him home, and all I've been since then is exhausted and overwhelmed. Not all the time, well except for the exhausted part, but sometimes those two are not mutually exclusive. Today is one of those days. I'm tired and feeling overwhelmed at being a mommy and breast feeding my child. I feel overwhelmed because he's a horrible night sleeper which means I get no sleep, and I'm overwhelmed that I'm the only one that has everything this child needs. I can't go anywhere and just wander. I can't take walks through target for hours on end. My husband come and goes whenever he wants. I guess I'm just jealous. And as much as I hate to say it I want my child to be a little bigger and not as fussy and sleep in his own bed. I want to be able to know what he needs not just guess and hope that I'm right. I think I miss things that I didn't think I would miss. Everyone I know loves mommyhood and while I love being a mom, I miss being Katie.