Happy Easter!!

So Noah had his first Easter today and he'll be 7 weeks tomorrow!! Can't believe how fast time is flying. Little man looks so different from the scrawny no fat baby he was. He has a double chin, chubby cheeks and even a couple of rolls!! He's holding his head up, trying to push up on his hands, and kicking his little feet. He loves to look out the window, and he talks all the time. He grunts, a lot and makes faces and sticks his tongue in and out. He's still a horrible sleeper unless he's curled up with us or on his belly. So, Casey and I have official become bad parents and are letting our child sleep on his belly. Part of me is ok with this and part of me is scared to death I'm increasing my child's risk of SIDS. I've done research on my own and even read parental opinions on the matter and I still just don't know. Casey and I have never truly swaddled my child well at least not how they say to and now I wonder should I try that before I say ok he can sleep on his belly in his room across the hall. That's the other thing that worries me he's not in my room. I can't just wake up roll over touch him and make sure he's ok. I yet again have to trust that my son will be ok and I need to have faith that The Lord will protect my child, when I can't. He and I are finally hitting a groove, I just wish I could ask all these current moms with babies around his age. But then again I guess that's cheating. Casey is so calm and cool about it all, his attitude is it is what it is so why stress. But in other new he's graduated to. Size 1 diaper and is out of newborn and into 0-3 mth clothing! So on that note some new pics of my chubby cherub.

Overwhelmed

When I got pregnant I was in disbelief, when we went to the doctor that first time I was excited, I was calmly confident through my pregnancy, and so grateful when the bug arrived and was healthy. Then it was time to take him home, and all I've been since then is exhausted and overwhelmed. Not all the time, well except for the exhausted part, but sometimes those two are not mutually exclusive. Today is one of those days. I'm tired and feeling overwhelmed at being a mommy and breast feeding my child. I feel overwhelmed because he's a horrible night sleeper which means I get no sleep, and I'm overwhelmed that I'm the only one that has everything this child needs. I can't go anywhere and just wander. I can't take walks through target for hours on end. My husband come and goes whenever he wants. I guess I'm just jealous. And as much as I hate to say it I want my child to be a little bigger and not as fussy and sleep in his own bed. I want to be able to know what he needs not just guess and hope that I'm right. I think I miss things that I didn't think I would miss. Everyone I know loves mommyhood and while I love being a mom, I miss being Katie.

One month young

The bug is a month old this week!! I wish I could say its been easy and he's the best baby ever, but I would be lying. I love my baby but he spends most his days being cranky and gassy. We can't seem to get a good sleep pattern going, and we struggle to get him to stay asleep in his crib at night for any sort of longish stretch. He still however is so cute I can't help but love him, while still desperately missing my sleep. His ones month check up revealed him to be growing well despite his daily abuse of my boobs. Whoever said breast feeding was this glorious time of bonding and was super great, was wrong in my book. I love my son and watching him grow and by no means to I want him to grow up quickly but I will be excited when breast feeding gets easier for the both of us. So, some stats to prove my son is getting nutrients. He is now 8 lb 7.5 oz! Still little but better than he was. He also has a lot of man gas which makes him somewhat cranky, and his bewitching hour is about 830pm. He can be snoozing away 830 hits he's up whining, and crying till midnight. Casey and I just laugh now and make fun of him. We still don't sleep very well at night, which is the one thing I'm hoping gets better soon. He loves tummy time and making faces and music. He's also starting to hold his head up all by himself and make new noises. My favorite one is his machine gun grunt. So, that's the baby update can't wait to see what else is in store for our little family!!

3 weeks

So little man is three weeks old!! His official due date was yesterday! Hard to believe he's been here for three weeks. Our lives have changed so drastically now that he's here. For starters I feel like some days all I do is feed him and watch tv. I love cuddling with him but sometimes I miss just being able to pick up and go, but if I really thought about it I have animals so I could never really do that. I do miss being able to wander kohls and target for hours though, that was like my time, now my time is a shower. Which by the way I love dearly. I also love my bug and all his little faces and noises he makes. My mom says she. He sleeps it sounds like he swallowed a kazoo because he always makes this cute noise. He still loves to be cuddled and loves to be in a ball. He's a horrible burper but passes gas like no ones business. He's in his crib for the first time since coming home. I have mixed feelings about this I know he needs his crib but I'm gonna miss his face next to mine. Also, now I have to trust a machine to help me hear him cry instead of my own ears. And finally I have to trust The Lord to keep him safe through the night. This is my biggest struggle, being nurse I know all the bad things that can happen and that's a very scary thing to know. So, I'm going to have to really work at trusting God which will in turn strengthen my relationship with God too. Something that as a mother I'm sure I'm going to start really relying on.