Eviction day

So D day is officially here!!! We made it 34 weeks and all that's left to do is be induced and have a baby!!! Here comes the fun part though L&D has been full all week long!! They have no idea when I will get to go over but I'm first on the list.  Little scary little exciting.  I've done the whole being induced into labor before and while not fun I feel I'm slightly prepared for that.  The scary and unknown portion of this day revolves around my son.  He's already pretty amazing for a 34 weeker he's passed his stress tests with flying colors all week long sometimes he even enjoys showing off for the nurses and really showing them what his little heart can do.  The perinatologist gave him on 8/10 on his BPP which I discovered stands for biophysical profile.  Basically they look at five different categories to see how well he's going to do in the outside world.  The only category he missed was of course the fluid, which they knew would be against him of course.  But he moves well makes breathing motions passes the stress test, and has a nice chunky umbilical cord with great blood flow.  He's estimated at five and a half pounds and they said most NICU babies that are over five do very well.  So now we wait and see will he be a NICU baby or will we go home with a 34 weeker in our arms?? That's another source of stress and scare the thought of taking a 34 weeker home knowing the possible potential problems.  However the Lord has brought us this far and to stop trusting now would be stupid, but I'm going to have to work harder at it. Other worries are of course feeding and pumping.  I don't pump well and I really want to be able to breastfeed whether he goes home or stays in NICU. I'm hoping lactation can help me figure out what to do.  In other news here's what I've learned staying in a hospital on bed rest for a week.  A good view goes a long way towards keeping spirits up, bring some sort of project, they need to make a truly waterproof bandage for IVs.  My IV is probably the thing I'm most ready to get rid of, I'm tired of bumping it on the toilet when I wipe, trying to keep it dry while washing my face or showering, and the in general soreness that has come with having an IV In your dominant hand for six days.  I've also been on more antibiotics this week than I have in my entire life!!! But if it means healthy baby I'll take all of it.  I'm also ready to be a mom again to my toddler.  I can see his change in demeanor and attitude over the past week and it makes me so sad.  My mom and dad are complete lifesavers, but even my mom looks like she could use time for self.  I did however get all the balloons and clouds finished for the mobile and my amazing hubby captured some pretty awesome maternity photos for me!!

33 and 4

So today I'm 33 weeks and 4 days and by the grace of God and some amazing prayers warriors I'm still pregnant!!! The goal is to make it to Saturday at which time I will be induced and sometime after that my little 34 weeker Elijah james will make his presence known to the world.  In the meantime I'm learning how to pass the time in a hospital bed.  My electronics are my lifeline to the outside world and more often then not a source of entertainment. I have watched sooo much hgtv and food network I could probably run both networks!! Mom brought me crafty stuff so I'm also working on balloons and clouds for a mobile for the baby's room. My main source of motion is getting up to pee or sneaking looks out my window when I hear sirens.  Otherwise my bed and I are quite close now.  

Early

So it's 542 am on Sunday September sixth and I'm laying in a bed in labor and delivery.  I'm officially 33 weeks and my son may be coming to say hello soon.  My membranes spontaneously ruptured again, but this time he's to little and needs to stay inside and grow. I'm praying he stays inside and breaking down a little bit because if he does stay inside I don't go home.  My toddler doesn't get to see his mom when he wakes up if I stay, there won't be any morning cuddles in mommy's and daddy's bed if I stay.  But if I don't stay my newest baby will be to little and possibly have complications or even a NICU stay.  His room isn't ready, his clothes aren't clean or organized, so many, many things we had planned to do in the coming weeks. I'm scared and feel like crying, but instead I'm watching the clock listening to his heartbeat and praying that God keeps him in my body a little longer.  I want to go home and see my son, but I want to see this little life inside me grow strong as well. It's quite the feeling, part of me also feels guilty that for whatever reason I can't seem to keep babies inside until they are full term.  Makes me ask the eternal question what's wrong with me?? I'm 33 weeks today and could possibly be a mom of two soon.